Nostalgic.

NOSTALGIC

 

So many things going my way right now. Life is great and I couldn't be happier. It's been a while since I have blogged and if you need to refresh on my story, I will briefly do so and if not, please read on thereafter.

I was born with spina bifida and was told I would never walk. Alas, I took my first steps at three. With countless specialists, operations, this wasn't easy, but it was possible. I have had my ups and downs, my good days and my bad days.

I am still doing my gym, have gone up Jacob's ladder some more... Most importantly I have finished a children's book on dinosaurs and disability.... I am excited to report that on Monday, I get to revisit my first ever school, a school I haven't been to in 23 years. Excitement is an understatement.

The Best 26 weeks Of My Life

So, full commendation to me, not being up myself, trying to be the bees knees, the ducks guts or the ants pants, I have come a looong way to the person I once was. This has been a lot of sweat and tears and a lot of doubt in myself. I conquered. People will love you only when it suits them, some when the sun is shining and only then and there will be one's that see you through all the storms and if you're lucky they will help you step over the puddles.

Tonight is bucketing down out there. I am happy and contented with the person I have become and I would like to show you my progress in 185 days since I joined the gym.

I was born with spina bifida and mum and dad were told that I would 'never walk'. Milestone achieved, I took my first steps at three thanks to physio and hydrotherapy.

Not being much of a sports buff, I more than made up for in my communication skills and hence I have a children's book coming out soon. I would like to refresh your memory as to how far I have come over the years, but more importantly from the start of this year, to just last week. I don't want to boast, it is what it is. I am who I am.

Letting Things Escalate

See that picture? Yes, it's a picture of escalators. We can let things escalate until they sound even worse than what they are or they appear bigger than what they are. The immense fear of me going near an escalator has been something I have feared for years.

Heading to a shop yesterday to look for some trousers for a work trial I have coming up, I went to a shop I haven't been to in years. I had completely forgotten that there were escalators in the shop.

Escalatophobia, yes it is something that exists and something that I have- OR HAD...

You see, when I was all of about seven, seeing the 'moving stairs', I stepped on and fell at the bottom, leaving me fearful of those 'moving stairs'. Having the world move around me fills me with an immense fear and up until yesterday, I opted to take the stairs. Yesterday, I had no other choice, it was the escalator or nothing.

So, another step in how far I have come. Let me show you just how far I have come in the last six months. Yes, six months since I joined the gym !!

It's only hard until it's done.

When my mind thinks, it thinks and my thoughts are like a cyclone going through me. When planning on what I am going to do, I think about the possibilities and the long winded process behind it. I rush through things, this causes panic and I want to see the end result, the finished product instead of enjoying the process. Once done, I feel relief but also grief that I didn't enjoy the process.

Life is in steps, steps are meant to be taken, steps were built to take one at a time, if we take too big a step, we fall over.

Life is a process of the good, the bad and the ugly.

I THINK A MESSY ROOM IS PROOF ENOUGH OF CLEANING IT AND THAT IS ONLY HARD UNTIL IT'S DONE... I MUST GET ON TO MINE.

Old Music/ New Start

      













Reflections of what life is supposed to be. Today I am on the top of the world looking down on creation. A new life I have created and still creating... AND will continue to create for me. I am so much happier with amazing people around me. I put so much faith in a lot of people I never should have.

Sometimes I felt like never used to fit and I did nothing but frown. I needed out of that environment and fast, now that I am out of that environment, I look at the new people I am around and how they have helped me. I am still around a select few of the ones I still regard as my friends and they stuck by me. I got angry at these people because they tried to warn me off the people I never should have trusted. Looking back, I understand, looking forward, I'm not going back, it's so funny that we don't talk anymore.

Before And After.

I don't ever want to become a bragger, I am doing things now in life that if you had said to me six months ago that I would be doing what you said I would, I would never have believed you. This isn't a 'look at me, I'm the bees knees', it's fact.

At the beginning of January, I embarked on Jacob's ladder, I attempted it again today and wow, I have come so far, I did the DNA tower first and walked a mile to get to Jacob's ladder. Jacob's ladder was done in seven minutes. I am going to show you a before and after as to when I first embarked on the gym and this is testament to how far I have come. This is for my knowledge and yours too.

The last one was just last week, quite a transformation? Boy am I proud.

The one below is of me making it to the top of the DNA tower, After THAT I embarked on Jacob's Ladder yet again.

Not The End Of The World Drama Queen

 



Worry won't prevent tomorrows problems, it will steal today's peace though.  Tomorrow never comes, because by the time we get to tomorrow, it is today...

People change
Things go wrong
Things don't go the way we planned
Life goes on...

We have had many facebook messages circulate that the world is going to end... Alas... we have woken up the next day and continued...

That job I worried about that I didn't get...
The 'friend' I lost wasn't actually a 'friend'
I worried that I was going to be late, only to be told that someone was late in schedule, all that panic was for nothing...

I NEED TO GIVE MYSELF A BREAK... WHO AM I HARMING?? NO ONE ELSE BUT MYSELF. SIMPLE?? EASIER SAID THAN DONE.