Learn My Lesson

Sometimes the sunset means so much,
the one thing in life you know you'll never touch.

When trying to reach through to people, it's becoming ever clear that you can't please everyone, so you may as well please yourself.

I'm learning that the people I thought I 'needed' in my life this time last year, I don't 'need' them in my life this year or the impending years.

I'm not needy and I won't beg, nothing is going to happen to me if I don't have them in my life, it's not crucial.

I've been burned a few times, more than my fair share, life ain't fair but if YOU play fair, it doesn't mean that everyone around you will play fair either.

I have lived and I have survived and I WILL survive, whether I have certain people around me or not.

Learning who is with me and who isn't, who is in, who is out, has been a tough cross to bear, but regret is even worse.

I have so much to achieve next year and I can't wait to start living, not just existing, not doing it anymore.

The life I live, the family I have, the friends I have, are better than anything found under the Christmas tree. xx

Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't you're right.

Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't you're right.

Last Tuesday marked my 200th visit to the gym. In that time, I have become somewhat of a happier person.

Prior to joining the gym, I was scared of joining and didn't believe I had a place in the gym. Someone that looked the way she did, had little fitness like I did, some who walked the way I did and someone who was as weak as I was.

I started on the treadmill and I fell off, scaring the hell out of myself and everyone around me, I got back on and fell off again. My next trick was the elliptical. I fell off that too, only this time I had really scared myself as I went down with a great big thud. I had a bigger audience this time.

For those of you who don't remember, I was born with spina bifida and I was told I would never walk. I took my first steps at 3 following intensive therapies including physio and hydrotherapy. I loved the water, I would be the first one in and the last one out.... That was until I was eight and developed a fear. Mum and Dad never gave up on me and they booked me into Gordon L'Strange swimming school in Kenwick. I hated it every Saturday. Mum and Dad persisted until they ended up buying a house with a pool that was enclosed under the main roof. Having pool parties and having familiar friends around me got my confidence back. After six years in that house, we moved again, to a house with another pool, but this time it was an old pool. Not long after, a storm put an end to me swimming when the pool caved in. It was a further couple years when a friend came over asking me what we could do for the day, I went to my local pool and saw something going on in the distance- a water aerobics class- I HAD to try THIS !!!

Fast forward five years and I haven't looked back, although at another venue I commenced my first water aerobics class after proclaiming:
'What's that?'
'Water aerobics'

I held on to the side of the pool for my first go but then joined in.

I now do water aerobics at another venue and gym combined. I am soooo much stronger, having gone from eight kilos on the leg press, to now leg pressing my body weight and above, trying aqua stick, trying Jacob's ladder many times, trying rock climbing many times and Brazillian jiu jitsu.

Aside from all the physical stuff, I have written my first book, on to my second and a poem, have visited schools. If the world is my oyster, the world is yours too. xx

My Climbing Journey: One

My Climbing Journey: One: One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do. Or is it? When I am at ONE with myself, how I feel, what I think, what I want, ...

I HATE THE WORD DISABLED.

    


It's a sad state of affairs when the 'disabled' signs look like what you can see above. Not all people with disabilities are in wheelchairs. Whether it be physically disabled, mentally disabled or otherwise, the only 'disability' in life, is a bad attitude. Not just a bad attitude to life, but a bad attitude to everything. Not all disabilities can be seen either.

Dis|able

[dɪsˈeɪb(ə)l]

VERB

(of a disease, injury, or accident) limit (someone) in their movements, senses, or activities:

"it's an injury that could disable somebody for life" ·

[more]

synonyms: incapacitate · impair · damage · put out of action · render/make powerless · weaken · enfeeble · debilitate · indispose · make unfit · immobilize · hamstring ·

[more]

• put out of action:
  "the raiders tried to disable the alarm system"
  synonyms: deactivate · defuse · disarm · render inoperative · make ineffective · put out of action · make harmless
• (of an action or circumstance) prevent or discourage (someone) from doing something:
  "their choice disables them from pursuing certain avenues"
  synonyms: disqualify · prevent · invalidate · declare incapable · rule out · preclude · debar · prohibit · disentitle · disenable.

This tells me that 'disabled' means 'it doesn't work', or 'I don't work'. My legs have never worked the way I wanted them to. Some days they exceed expectations.  I'm not incapacitated, I'm not damaged good, I'm strong not weak and I'm not disposable. I am also very fit and capable of doing certain things. I also know my limitations.  The only thing that has stopped me from doing certain things or prevented me, is I haven't had enough faith in myself.

The next time you go into a 'DISABLED TOILET', this puts you into a category, that you are separate from everyone around you, their for being typecast and categorized. If you 'enable' that toilet door, it is open to a lot, similarly, if you have an open mind, it can lead to an unexpected destination, if you have a closed mind, it still works, it's just not open enough.

New Horizons, New Things To See And Do And An Even Bigger Bucket List.

In a way, my whole life, I have been self reflective. I have reflected on everything. Some things I have handled well and others, not so.

Often times, I have been told to live in the real world. I happen to think that the real world can be a dark, callous and heartless place to live in.

When I think about living in my own mind and not in the real world, well, that can be a brutal place to live as well.

Looking back, I am partly proud of the person I see when I look in the mirror and other times I see myself as a 'work in progress'.

Mirror on the wall
I'll always get up after I fall
And whether I have to run, walk or crawl,
I'll set my goals and achieve them all.

X Peace and Blessings everyone and above all else.....




Don't stop being you.

Dr Seuss,

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

This, that and all the rest of it.

It's been a difficult start to this year. Some of it, I have enjoyed and other parts of it, I have loathed. We are ninty two days into the new year and I know I have a lot more to achieve.

There may be a few potholes in the way, but I know I can do it, if I put my mind to it. Not only am I thinking more clearly, I am thinking about the whole picture and feeling more clear about what I want and what I don't want, even if I don't have a clear picture of how it is going to pan out. Maybe how it does pan out, will look totally different to the vision I currently have in my head. Some things are going to look scary to me and they may not end up being that way.

Loving water aerobics, loving the fact that some people have left my circle and feeling incredibly blessed for the ones still in my circle.

Maths

Sometimes, you have to accentuate the positives and eliminate the negatives, that's what gets results. Results have been very slow with me over the last fifteen months, but I am slowly getting to a happier me.

There are many reports that you need to do this, you need to do that, everything in moderation, this is good for your health, this is bad for your health.... BLAH BLAH BLAH. The list is endless.

Like some things being bad for us: Too much alcohol, cigarettes, chocolate and cake, some people can be bad for us, toxic even, some environments can be toxic too


(Ya got to spread joy up to the maximum)
(Bring gloom down to the minimum)
(Have faith or pandemonium's)
(Liable to walk upon the scene)