Out With The Old And In With The New.

   



About fifteen years ago, I was approximately 22 kilos heavier than what I am now.

I have always found it hard to get around. This isn't a 'woe is me' statement, it's a fact.

I decided a few weeks ago that the clothes I had needed to go. There was NO WAY I was going back to where I was. I was unhappy, uncomfortable in my own skin. Things needed to change. I needed to change and change I did.
'I DID IT'.
SO SO PROUD and I'm not afraid to broadcast it.

Despite my struggles to get around, I did what I could, when I could, with what I had. Slowly but surely the weight came off.

Always finding it difficult to get around in the first place, I never should have let myself get to where I got, but life happens and pardon the language SHIT HAPPENS.

I lost my dear nanna on my sixteenth birthday and that was the start of me retreating into myself. I felt lost. Completely and utterly lost. After all, I'd lost a large part of my childhood in my nanna. Being sixty odd years and three days apart, we always celebrated our birthday's together. When I lost Nanna, life as I knew it- CHANGED- CHANGED FOREVER.

People come and go in our lives and it was that realization then and there that nothing stays the same forever.

So why am I still adjusting to change? It gives me an uncomfortable feeling to know that everything is spinning. I am spinning. The world still goes on the way it already has. It doesn't stop.

You go into a shop and people are chatting in different isles, you go to a park and children are happily playing and laughing. People are going about there day to day life.

STOP!!! STOP THIS ROUNDABOUT. STOP THIS VICIOUS CYCLE. I WANT TO GET OFF !!!

Life happens and it has and will continue to happen, whether I like it or not.

Fast forward 15 years and I looked in my draws and closet about a month ago and realized everything I was still holding on to. (My clothes I'm referring to, not my memories I still have of my Nanna).

The clothes I was holding onto were a constant reminder of the unhappy person I once was and I knew that getting rid of the clothes was going to set me free. I put all of my clothes (INTO FOUR LARGE GARBAGE BAGS AND MADE SURE THEY WERE ALL FULL).

Letting them go and letting go of who I once was, has set me FREE.