Too Stubborn For My Own Good

When admitting I need help or that I was wrong, I get angry. A whole new set of emotions come into play. Sadness, doubt, resentment. I become a closed book. I want to feel the sense of achievement that I can do stuff on my own, that I can do it all and take on the world... Unrealistic I know, but I want to and it's frustrating as all hell that I know there are people out there that love me. I need to love myself first.

I close doors




   People may open the door for me, but I close it, wanting to shut my emotions away and I end up shutting people out.

I create a window and shut that window.

Too often we look at a closed door or window that we don't see the one that has been opened for us.



  Not everything is right 100% of the time and I can't do ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING ON MY OWN and I have come to realize that there is help out there... AND I DESERVE IT...

Human nature and people are around us for the help we need and deserve. I can say I don't need help or don't want it, but as much as I don't like admitting it, it's out there... And I was WRONG, whether I want to admit it or not.

Shop assistants are there to help us carry out what we need for the week (bread, milk, egg, fruits, vegetables.) We need clothes to wear and we have help in being able to get these items to be fortunate to wear those clothes.

Doctors are there to mend us when we are sick, chemists are there to help us become better with medicine.

Schools help us to get an education.

Counselors are there to help people that need help with sadness and anger and it is ok to need that help. They are there to help us make sense of stuff.

Real Estate people help us look for our home, settlement agencies help us to be able to get into the house to be able to pay it off.

Libraries help us research things in order for us to read up on topics.

Restaurants help us eat.

I can say to you until the cows come home that I don't need help. I do need help. EVERYBODY DOES AND THERE IS NO SHAME IN THAT.